Party Time

#misfits, adolescent, church, community, Family Ministry, life, organizational strategy, students, Uncategorized

party

We all have the one type of kid we wish we could connect into our programs.

She’s the cheerleader and bible study leader, the captain of the sports team, the influencers and role models of the youth we hope to influence. They would be the core kids and the leadership team members. Just think, if we could influence the influencers, oh the possibilities.

Sometimes they come, and sometimes, they don’t.

We can get so wrapped up in these kids we forget about the ones who do come. Who show up consistently, who feel they belong, who need a connection to Jesus and to an adult that will give a crap about them.

This story popped in my mind this morning, it’s in Luke 14:15-24

In the story, a man decides to throw a dinner party. My imagination takes me to the blowout bash of the year.  The event has great party gifts, Gordon Ramsay is cooking food, Jay-Z and Beyonce are providing entertainment and there is an A list guest list.

And no one shows.

They all have something else to do, some other event, some other priority that takes their time.

When the man threw the party, he had an expectation of the type of people he wanted there, and who would come. They didn’t.

Then the invitation went you. The Misfits came. The homeless and wretched came. Those from far off came to the party.

What if you are planning events and programs for people who won’t show up? They have sports practices, school assignments, time with friends and family, and other priorities that eat at time.

What if the perspective changes? What if we send out for the Misfits and the wretched? The ones in your group who show up and need your group to connect them to Jesus, to one another and to adults who will champion for them. What if we made it a safe place for all youth to come and they don’t need to fit a certain mold or expectation we put on them.

Party with the youth who are there, celebrate with them, share your life with them, help them discover the purpose of their own life, and point them to Jesus.

Win-Win

#misfits, #politics, adolescent, church, community, organizational strategy, systems, Uncategorized

winwin

 

There is a scene in the movie “A Beautiful Mind” that has always stuck with me.

   It is a scene where the main characters and his friends are at a bar and a group of girls walk in. They begin to apply various theories into how to approach the girls. What stuck out to me was the idea that decisions should be made for what is best for the individual and what is best for the group. It brought to my attention what I would later learn to be the concept of Win-Win strategy.

Dealing with other organizations, finding new partners and even recruiting new volunteers can be complicated. Many times there are different agendas and motives for people wanting to participate. There is also this sense of control and who has more power over the other. Everyone wants to call the shots and everyone wants what is best for their own organization. However, what is often best for one party is not best for another. In these Win-Lose, or even Lose-Lose, scenarios relationships can be broken, partnerships fail and success if often hindered.

I have tried to apply Win-Win thinking into new endeavors and partnerships that I form. This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people. Win-Win helps people and organizations to collaborate and cooperate together, instead of competing with one another.

Thinking Win-Win is often not the norm of organizations and can be tricky. There is a balancing act between being empathetic to the needs of another person and sticking to vision and mission of yourself and your organization. It often takes out of the box thinking, innovation and giving up something inconsequential for something valuable. To apply Win-Win into your interactions with others it takes a lot of maturity, integrity, and understanding of what is core to achieving the purposes of your organization.

If you are in the middle of debating new partnerships or new collaborations and you just seem to be getting stuck, start to think Win-Win. Get to the Core of your organization, your mission and values, the things that if changed would radically change the function of your group. If the partnership starts to endanger these things, they may not be a good fit. However, what are some little things that you may be able to give up in order for something new to start. Start to think Win-Win and see how new things start to flourish and partnerships begin to form.

Orange Quotables

#misfits, adolescent, church, community, empathy, Family Ministry, Ministry, organizational strategy, Student Ministry, students, Uncategorized

The Monday after Orange and I am still processing all the awesome stuff that happened at Orange. I am thinking about the students I work with, my neighbors, the city I live in and my own ministry. I posted the notes to the sessions I attended in these blogs.

#OC17 Rundown 17.1

#OC17 Rundown 17.2

Here are some quotes that stood out to me amongst all the wisdom shared at Orange Conference 2017.

Love everybody, always.

    -Bob Goff

I’m not trying to be right anymore, Im trying to be Jesus.

    -Bob Goff

Following Jesus means leading a life that will be constantly misunderstood.

    -Bob Goff

If the church doesn’t do this, then who does.

    -Nicole Fulham Baker

Something powerful happens when neighbors who aren’t for the church, realize the church is still for them.

    – Jeff Henderson

If we listen long enough, we’ll hear someones pain.

    – Ryan Leak

When we can show up for yourselves, and surround ourselves with others who believe in us, we can find the possibility within us.

    – Mike Foster

I have to do this, because this matters, they matter.

    – David Tieche

This is what we need: adults who will take extreme ownership for problems they did not create, for kids that are not theirs, and say “I will solve it” even though it is not their responsibility.

    – David Tieche

This is the sacred task of youth workers, we get to call out the essence the youth we work with.

    -Dave Tieche

In every case if a teenager has an asset it is because a caring adult has given it to them

    -Dave Tieche

God is in love with people, you cannot dismiss people and be ok with God.

    -Andy Stanley

When you approach this new way, of loving people the way Jesus loves you, all the old loopholes and questions and excuses close.

    -Andy Stanley

I can’t just try to keep kids entertained and attending, I’ve got to challenge them to serve and to minister.

    – Doug Field

Mr. Rodgers didn’t qualify who his neighbor was. Neither did Jesus.

    -Jon Acuff

We never let parents, parent alone.

    – Carlos Whittaker

The next generation needs someone who has gone before them to be for them.

    – Gerald Fadayomi

There are no ordinary children.

    – Danielle Strickland

Sometimes it takes a party, to change how we see each other.

Sometimes it takes a party to demonstrate that God cares about people who party.

Sometimes it takes a party, to confirm that we can always be forgiven.

Sometimes it takes a party, to prove that people matter more than our opinions.

Sometimes it takes a party, to remind us all that everyone is invited to the party.

Start a party.

    – Reggie Joiner

Students need consistent opportunities to love and serve others and to coach them while they do it

    -Reggie Joiner

#OC17 is HERE

adolescent, church, community, Family Ministry, Ministry, organizational strategy, Student Ministry, students

I am sitting in the airport right now about to board for ATLANTA!!! I am super stoked to being going to Orange this year. The theme is “For Our Neighbors” and we are talking about what it looks like for churches to be bridges to the community and to engage the places that we go home to, where we work and where we play.

Head here to RSVP to check out the Livestream of the Conference

https://whatisorange.leadpages.co/oc17-rsvp/

I will be on social media through Misfit_Min on both Twitter and Instagram and will be blogging daily with what I was learning that day.

My good friends over at @YMSidekick and @tapounder are some great people to look at to keep updated

Follow the hashtag #OC17 to see what is going on throughout the conference

BONUS*

Every morning check out the podcast YMSidekick for a breakdown of the previous day! You’ll hear from me and my friends

 

 

Art of the Ask

#misfits, church, community, Family Ministry, misfits, organizational strategy, students, systems, team building, Uncategorized, volunteer

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Many of us are in the need of help with something. Some of us need volunteers, others need financial help and others are simply looking for ways to connect with people through an organization. Sometimes I just comes down to the ask, but don’t get me wrong, that ask can be tough. It is a mental game and you really just don’t want to be annoying. When going to ask someone to help, give or just connect here a few thoughts to go in with.

I don’t think I have ever just cold called someone and asked them to be part of what I was doing. I always try to connect with them without my own agenda. I like to get to know them as people and what they enjoy doing. Asking someone to help isn’t manipulating them if you are invested them as an individual over your own agenda. I try not to get selfish with only seeing them helping me out but by getting to know them I can help put them in a place for them to thrive with others. They may not be a fit for the direction you’re going, but you may know someone who they could help considerably.

After getting to know people on a friendly basis I just ask them to meet up and may let them know that I want them to think about helping out. Before I do I really sit and  think through what I am asking that person to contribute. Is it time, their talents, or asking them to give financially.I try to get specific. For instance, instead of asking for money, I tell them about how we need a new printer, or instead of saying I need a new volunteer I talk to them about role they would be filling. I have a clearly defined role planned out, with expectations, for people to understand what they may be committing too before I ask. I try to think through their questions and have some answers. When you have a better handle on what you are asking from people, they get a clearer idea of it too.

I always try to share with them why I feel they would be a great fit. I share with them somethings that I have seen from them already. I talked to them about our need and how they can help. I share stories. Stories are a great way to connect with people. They help connect us to one another and to the mission of where we are going. I try to tell them stories of why I got involved, of other volunteers or success stories that we have seen.

Then, I let them make the choice. I don’t twist their arm, or guilt them into saying yes. I pray hard. I take what they can give and leverage that for wins. Sometimes, a yes to a small ask will lead to a yes to a bigger ask, later down the road.

So what do you need to move forward in your ministry? In your life? In your next steps? Who can you ask to walk alongside with you. Don’t be afraid to ask. Walk with people with no agenda, have a clear idea of how they an help you or someone else, share with them a vision of thriving and then let them do the rest. Be bold in your ask and you’ll be surprised at how people come through.

 

Empathy

#misfits, adolescent, church, community, empathy, life, Ministry, organizational strategy, stories, students, Uncategorized

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We will only go as far in bringing justice, peace and hope to our world as our ability to empathize with one another will carry us.

I don’t see unity. Even conversations about fast food restaurants are fueled by hate, fear and anger. I believe that we are a divided people. This division from where I sit comes from our inability to simply feel how someone else feels and see a situation from another persons perspective. From there, we fall short of standing up for someone once we have begun to empathize. We fall short of building connections and building bridges between people. We let our differences divide us.

Those differences come in many forms. We fall prey to the separation caused by political parties, race, religion, culture, upbringing, and who’s turn it is to do the dishes. When the spotlight is on the differences we often turn to anger and hatred towards that person which then leads us to dehumanize them. When this happens we are not able to empathize, we don’t even care. In the midst of the arguing we focus on our differences and not on those things that we all share.

We have a lot of things in common. We obviously feel that our view, our side, our team is the best and if we are the best then others are of lesser value, we are all people who are passionate about something. I often find that the emotions that spurn on peoples passions and views are often the same. We speak from experiences, hurts, doubts, and worries. The things that drive us are often times the things we hope to fix most. We experience things in life that have shaped our views. People have similar emotions even in the midst of the tension we share. Fear, confusion, anger, these things are shared by us in that moment. We also share the hope for something better than our current situation.We must use these similarities, however small, to help drive our ability to empathize with one another.

So how do you build or even find empathy? You fight for it. You look for the humanity in people. That little something that says, I know how you feel. We’ve all suffered loss, hurts, pains, we have all faced some tough stuff in our lives. We have all also seen great joy and triumph. We must listen to the stories of one another. Let those stories sink it and resonate with us. Discover the connections between one another, don’t just blow them off because it is different from you.

You should have people in your life that are different from you. They should look different, work in different industries, believe differently and even vote differently. Then take all those differences and share life together. Eat a meal, laugh, share life stories and love people for who they are, and not who you wish they would be.

Create safe space. Sometimes, we need to talk through our differences. We need to be humble enough to admit when we are wrong, vulnerable enough to admit our flaws and caring enough to not let these differences separate us. Listen to one another. Truly listen. Hear their hearts and their fears and not just wait for your turn to talk.

Our ability to empathize with one another is what will save the day. 

Prototypes

#misfits, Ministry, organizational strategy, purpose, systems, Uncategorized

1930-air-propelled-motorcycle-patent-charcoal-aged-pixel

     Getting unstuck can be difficult. Many people are frustrated with their jobs, their circumstances and feel like they are living without passion and joy. Wrestling with this myself at times, some great discussions with friends and learning about some different ways to design your life I have learned about the concept of prototyping.

     Prototyping is when you design a version of your life that you feel would bring you more joy, give you more passion and more success. Then through this design you begin to test out parts of these plans through prototyping. These are low-risk, high-reward, activities that help you gain perspective on new life paths that can help increase your joy. For instance, if you feel that being a professional musician is what you want to do, prototyping would find you signing up for some open mic nights in your local area. Here are a few steps to help get your life unstuck.

Odyssey Plan

     Bill Burnett at Stanford created the Odyssey Plan. In creating an Odyssey Plan you create a different variations of what you want your life to look like. The idea is there are multiple variations for what you could define as joyful and successful. So you start looking at those variations. First, you use design process to find and define the problem. Maybe it is not enough joy, you need more money, or you just feel stuck at your current position. Then, you begin to create a few variations of your life that brings you more joy, money, and passion. You think through the process to get that life and what it takes for each one. This helps create freedom and drive because you begin to get over the fact that you’re stuck and get forward momentum to create change.

Prototyping

     Once you have a few variations of what you feel your life should be it is time to start prototyping. You being by look at some of those steps you need to take in each variation. Look for ways to get more experience or more knowledge for those variations. This might take time but it is a process. Take a new class, volunteer at an organization, take on a new task, and be fearless and confident in the progress you make. Tweak your ideas with your successes and your failures. Those failures just bring you one step closer to your ultimate goal.

Just Move Forward

     I think the biggest way to get unstuck in life is simply to move forward. Find something you enjoy and work hard at it. Time is wasted when you sit, get in an emotional low and let the life that you hope for slip away. Think about the problems that you have no and begin to think of some solutions and start working toward your goals.

     It is never too late to try new things, chase after new goals and create new dreams. You start by finding the problem, dreaming up solutions, trying hard and keep going after it. Life is so much better when you live in the place where you are using your gifts, talents and passions in a way that brings about joy and meaning.

Systems

#misfits, adolescent, church, community, Family Ministry, Ministry, misfits, multi-site, organizational strategy, systems, Uncategorized, volunteer

cogs

 

Systems do not create or hinder culture, they allow culture to flourish. There is a fear that systems create a rigidity in an organization. That a system does not allow for adaptability or the handling of unique situations. These systems then lead to a culture and organization that is too rigid. Systems are created to allow the culture of your organization to flourish. If systems are failing to do this for your organization it is time to get rid of them and start fresh.

In creating systems you need to first figure out the identity, and mission, of your organization. Some may call this your brand, I believe though that brand is just one part of the culture. Who you are and what you do creates the culture of your organization. If you are known for incorporating the arts, for outreach in the community, connecting people or for your innovative ideas, systems must be in place to allow those to be at the forefront of your organization. These systems help to prioritize the pieces of your organization you want to see flourish and streamline the messy parts for even greater success. Systems are routines and procedures that are created to help your organization do what it does best.

Whether your organization is just starting or is as old as I am there are always some problems that arise. Being proactive with these problems helps to maximize time doing what you love to do best. Spend some time up front thinking through problems and issues that have arisen in the past, in similar organizations, or that could arise in your organization. What would be devastating to you? What is the most common issue that arises? Then, begin to think through strategic solutions to these problems before they make life miserable. Always in a rut with volunteers? Think of ways to recruit year long, improve the volunteer culture you already have and look for ways to streamline the process. 

In creating systems it takes time up front to analyze your current situation. Be honest with the current state of your organization and think of different ways to make it better. Create systems to further the reach and influence of your organization. As your organization grows the systems you create will change and adapt to meet that growth. When productivity, growth, or your culture begins to go places you do not with it to, begin to look at the systems that allowed the divergence in the first place.

Your organizations culture will flourish and you will find more success when the systems that you create allow it to do so.

Misfits

#misfits, adolescent, community, Ministry, organizational strategy, Student Ministry, Uncategorized

misfit-bw

Jesus is a Misfit. He took the expectations of religion and society and turned them upside down. He spent time with the least of these. The sick, the marginalized, the oppressed, the prostitutes, the widows and the orphans. He took, and continues to take, a bunch of ragamuffins and turns them into world-shakers. He breathes life into dead things. Jesus continually challenged the status quo of our society and engaged people where they were. Jesus met sinful people, in the midst of their sin, and showed up for them. He never asked for them to clean up first, to get it right first, and only then He would help. He rubbed shoulders with those society had forgotten and demonstrated genuine, authentic, love. Jesus challenged how we viewed God and how our beliefs shape us. He challenges us still.

How are we engaging the forgotten, the downtrodden and the lost in our lives? Do we interact only with people so that we could gain something? How does your proximity to people demonstrate authentic love and care? Do you stand for justice and seek to find solutions to the problems in our world? How is your life pointing others to Jesus?

A Misfit looks at the world differently. We stand boldly in our faith in Jesus to evaluate the world around us. We step in relationally to meet people where they are, in the midst of their hurts and struggles, to give support, pray and sometimes to just sit in silence. We are not afraid to challenge the way things have always been done in the hopes of something better. To be a Misfit is to step into the challenges that our world faces and point it all to Jesus.

Through this endeavor we hope to lead leaders, generate empathy, teach influencers and participate in engaging the lost, forgotten, hurting, oppressed and the outsiders. Let us be challenged to be more like Jesus; to meet people where they are, to grow relationally, to empathize with one another and influence the world.

Join us on Instagram and Twitter at Misfit_Min to learn with us and engage the world together.

Keep them Around

adolescent, church, community, Ministry, organizational strategy, students, team building, Uncategorized, volunteer

volunteer

 

Non-profits, churches and schools all receive a significant boost in productivity through the work of volunteers. Volunteers are the life blood of many organizations. Yet, volunteer turnover effects them all. This leaves organizations in an constant pursuit for new volunteers that need to be trained, coached, launched into positions, and overseen. The pressure to be in the constant hunt for new volunteers can be lessened when you increase your ability to retain the volunteers you already have. Before you can go and recruit more leaders you have to make sure leaders aren’t slipping out on you because of your volunteer culture. Fix the culture first so that volunteers can flourish in your organization. Through working as a volunteer, leading volunteers and helping problem solve with other organizations here are a few ways to retain the volunteers you have currently.

Value your Volunteers

Volunteer retention can be as simple as showing that you value them. You care about them as the individuals they are and not just for the tasks they do and how they advance your organizations agenda. Look volunteers in the eye and say you appreciate them and tell them how you see them engaging in the organizations mission. Volunteers often leave because they are overworked and under appreciated. Buy them coffee before they show up, send out thank you notes, and budget for volunteer retention ideas. Show that you care about your volunteers and they will stick around.

Clearly defined roles and expectations

Make sure your volunteers know their role and the expectations of them. Volunteers get frustrated when they signed up for one job and end up being overwhelmed with tasks they didn’t sign up for. Volunteer frustration often comes from unclear expectations and not knowing what a win looks like for them. They may not see how their effort helps in the long run. As an organization, take time, especially during the recruitment and training phases, to coach volunteers on expectations, defining their roles and what a win looks like for them. Your volunteers will knock it out of the park when they know what pitch to swing at.

Create ownership

Whenever you can generate a sense of ownership in your volunteer team your organizations culture begins to shift. Listen to your volunteers and their suggestions. They are the eyes, ears, hands and feet of your team. They see the problems in your systems and procedures that you may overlook. Ask for volunteer feedback and empower your volunteers to come up with solutions. When volunteers are asked for their thoughts and suggestions it helps them to feel part of the team. Creating a culture of safety, mutual respect and ownership goes a long way in retaining your volunteers.

Stay organized and ahead of the game

Get your stuff together! You cannot expect a team of volunteers to work well in the midst of chaos and dysfunction that you create. Take a moment to get yourself organized, create better systems and stop living in the moment. When you are going by the moment a lot of your time is putting out small fires that arise. When you have a great volunteer culture you have coached and empowered volunteers to put out the fires for you in a way that drives the mission of your organization. This allows you to stay ahead  of the game, think big picture, and be innovative.

A revolving door of volunteers prevents momentum in your organization. Look at the volunteers you have right now. How are you celebrating them? How are you allowing them to feel part of the team? How are you getting yourself organized to better lead others? If you are struggling with volunteer retention and recruitment it is time to evaluate and improve your team.